I find being self-aware of new fancies quite entertaining. To fancy is distinctly different from liking something. Fancying something involves an almost frivolous arbitrariness to the liking.
When I started exploring my kink, it was a pretty clean spanking kink. The whole BDSM kind seemed much darker and different from what I was interested. Well I just liked the idea of spanking a cute girl. There really wasn't much further exploration of this idea.
As I grew older, I think other elements of my life might have pushed me towards the power exchange. Admittedly, I always had a little bit in me that was interested in this but it became a more important element. I still need to explore this and I do still think that I am more of a spanko or sadist than a dom or top but some elements of bondage have really begun to appeal to me.
There are some power poses that come naturally with anything with a latent touch of sadism. For a spanko, the simplest one has to be corner time. The spankee is being sent off somewhere to concentrate either on the prospect of being spanked or to "enjoy" the effects of being spanked. Then there are a subset of positions in corner time i.e. No rubbing, hands on one's head, hands on the wall, etc.
I really like poses with the subs hands locked behind their head. It's a massive turn on.
Physically, the positioning of hands behind ones head leaves the sub completely vulnerable. Every other part of the body is open for access and especially with women it has the effect of flaunting a lovely chest. It also has the added benefit of appearing a touch penitent. The other nice aspect about it is that it's a piece of voluntary submission. A few months ago I had my first real sm confrontation with a nice (and much more uh educated) than myself. I had blushingly confessed my sadistic tendencies and she in attempt to pull me into bed threw her self into obviously submissive poses (like throwing her hands onto the wall and sticking her butt out). The simple voluntary gesture of a sub placing her hands behind her head makes a top feel as if they are the big bad wolf, cowing and controlling the situation.
I'll admit much of this fancy is driven by two particular porn videos I viewed. My favorite one is a simple spanking video with Kailee and Gwen. I tried to find a picture of the moment where she lifts her hair up and turns away from Gwen as the top toys with her pink and pantied butt. Unlike a bondage scenario, in the spanking scenario it seems to turn the whole event a touch juvenile and that light bit of potential humiliation makes it all the better.
The other video was the red vs blue competition by uuhh can't remember the name right now. I typically avoid the heavier bondage bits because generally that sort of deal did not appeal to me, but at the beginning of each of the advanced videos the top would teach the subs several poses to master. My favorite of course had the girls on their knees, legs spread out with their hands behind their head. The top then proceeded to demonstrate why it was such a lovely pose, manipulating the girls from behind them in all sorts of ways.
Right now whenever I'm trolling threw xhamster or some site I just have the hankering to find a video with a girl in this pose. There's something about it that has caught my imagination at the moment.
The past few weeks have been particularly tough with terrible girl emotional drama, writing and job hunting. The emotional roller coaster I have been on over the past two weeks has been especially jarring considering that I was in hog heaven just a month ago.
I don't know whether I have been droning over the issue because I am actually that distraught or maybe it's a reaction to large school deadlines coming up. Either way, I've been very down and feeling some tinges of uselessness and general morbidity.
A few weeks ago, a prominent celebrity posted a link to a ted talk on the importance of happiness.
